This is the accompanying blog post to the guided meditation of 'Step into your core light through forgiveness' which you can download here.
Please read this before listening to the meditation, so you are fully familiar with the mantra of Ho'oponopono, which is used in the meditation.
First, a bit about forgiveness.
Forgiveness is something that is talked about a lot and, honestly, it is one of the most healing things that I have ever done for myself. It's not a once-off, done and dusted thing. We don't forgive once and then never need to do it again, it is a practice. However, I actively worked with forgiveness for a number of years and it made me feel so much lighter, happier and at ease. I had been carrying around grudges for years, and had built up a thick, angry skin of resentment that it was very hard for anyone to get through. It might have been effective, at keeping others at bay, but it was not healthy and not very nice for anyone (including myself). When I finally laid down my sword, I felt reborn. Don't get me wrong, I still get angry, I still feel hurt, I still get triggered, but I don't hold on to stuff in the same way as I used to and I am much quicker at forgiving things and letting them go.
I find that most people understand the power of forgivenes, and are all for the love and light feeling of it - until it gets personal and they have to forgive THAT person or THAT thing! Honestly, I can't be serious about them doing that, can I??
I get it, because I have been there. Sometimes it can be so hard to let go. Partly, because I think we worry that if we forgive someone or something, then it is no longer part of our story. Sometimes, we carry these stories of hurt, pain and betrayal as badges of honour (I know I did), and so we are terrified of letting go of that story because then we need to heal and find another story to hold on it. It can be very unsettling. I also think that we worry that we might appear "weak" because we have chosen to let something go, and we worry that we might invite this behaviour into our lives if we forgive it.
Let me be very clear about this; When you forgive someone or something, you are not condoning that behaviour and your are not inviting it back into your life. You also don't forget what happened, but you release the hold it has on you. It has actually nothing to do with the other person, and you don't need to contact them or be friends with them after this, you are simply letting go of the hold it has on you, setting yourself free, so that you can breathe freely and live the life you want. A life of joy, love, compassion and abundance. It is liberating and soothing, and I highly recommend it.
The mantra of Ho'oponopono.
As mentioned, we will be using the ancient Hawaiian mantra, Ho'oponopono, for this meditation. It is used in a couple of different ways, so I want to outline how I use and understand it. The way I teach it, it's these 4 phrases:
I forgive you, I love you, I'm sorry, thank you.
When I use it, I always say it in this way, directed at another person or situation or, directed at myself, as we also need to remember to forgive ourselves once in a while. Let me clarify further:
I forgive you - this is self-explanatory and is why we are here. We are looking to forgive a person or situation, and so using that exact phrase is simply to do that. I know it can feel triggering, around certain things, and there may be a lot of resistance about forgiving some things or some one, but being willing is the first step to opening up and letting it go.
I love you - This can feel very challenging and triggering, especially if you are addressing someone who has hurt you badly or if you are working with deep traumas, such as, rape, abuse, neglect. Please don't attempt to heal these things on your own. Seek professional help.
However, if you are working on a level of smaller grievances and resentment, then this phrase attempts to open up your heart to let in compassion and love. You don't need to actually love the person, there and then, or ever talk to them again, but we are simply trying to bring in a broader acceptance and gratitude towards all beings in the Universe - including this person who has done you wrong. If we believe in a Universe where we are all connected, and where love is the cure for all, then bringing love into this equation makes sense and feels wholesome. I understand the resistance around it, but please give it a go and notice how it feels.
I'm sorry - This is where we acknowledge that we may also have had a part to play in what happened. Such as, in a fight between loved ones. There is always two sides to one story and, perhaps, we didn't play entirely fair either, so we accept our responsibility in this situation and apologise. I don't want you to say, that it's your own fault that you got raped, abused, neglected however, what I think you can say, and take responsibility for, is how you choose to deal with the situation and the story. So, this can also be seen as a 'I'm sorry' to yourself, a younger version of you, and a vow to take responsibility for getting the support you need to not let this define you anymore.
Thank you - similarly, as above, this is not, as such, to say 'thank you' for the trauma that you have experienced. Though, it is taking the view that, perhaps, all things are opportunities for growth, learning and healing. If we can feel gratitude for a situation, however dark and painful, we can truly begin to let it go, release the hold it has on our lives and lift the shadow it has been casting on us.
I'm not saying that forgiving is always easy and, as mentioned, if you are navigating deep trauma in your life, please seek professional support with this. Forgiveness can be triggering and feel uncomfortable to start with.
Though, what I will say, is that it is tremendously healing, soothing and heart-opening.
Some situations and people require more time and focus than others, so don't be surprised if certain things resurface. You can use this meditation on an ongoing basis, in a quiet private space, where you don't get disturbed.
You can listen to it either sitting or lying down, and please make sure you aren't driving or operating heavy machinery, as you will be listening to it with your eyes closed.
About Victoria
I’m a multi-passionate Transformational Coach, Energy Healer and Artist who empowers female entrepreneurs to live authentic, fulfilling lives from their true core. This includes establishing healthy boundaries in life and business, so you can serve more deeply and sustainably. As a soul and heart led woman in business myself, in the past I have been at the brink of burnout and beyond. I create my services based on what I have needed over time to survive and fully thrive.
I don't claim to be 'perfect' or have it all figured out, but the tools and processes that I teach are tried and tested by myself and others, on multiple occasions. I have worked with many women over the years to help them gently move from overwhelm and stress to alignment and flow.
Everything that I do is gentle and at a slower pace, and not one that is dictated by what social media or the "Experts" tells us. I believe that if we learn to serve ourselves first, reconnect with our true core and create healthy, sustainable boundaries and do things on our own terms, that we can live a life and business in total alignment. From that space, we can fulfil our deepest purpose and desire of serving others and healing the world, one soul at a time.
