We all have them, right?
It might be your partner, your parents, your friends or even random people that you meet!
You tell them that you are self-employed and they reply with something like:
“Oh, it must be so hard being self-employed!”
“Can you make a living from that?”
“That must be super stressful!”
“Isn’t it time to get a ‘real’ job?”
They mean well, most of them anyways, but wow – it can really drain the life right out of you and make you feel so alone because no one seems to get WHY you are doing what you do and that these types of comments are NOT helpful!
First of all, you are not alone, sister!
And secondly, I know that the journey can be tough, I know that you get hit by doubt sometimes – I do too! But that’s not enough reason for me to give up my life purpose! I think you agree, right?
With that put straight, how can we best deal with those well-meaning negative people in our lives?
It’s them, not you!
Honestly, we need to somewhat accept that a lot of people in our lives just doesn’t understand what we do and WHY we do it. If they themselves have ‘regular’ steady jobs, they might not be able to understand why you would ever give that up for uncertainty and stress ‘just’ to run your own business! It’s not their fault, they just don’t get it.
Tell them what you need and don’t need.
Granted, this doesn’t always work but if it’s people who are close to you, then it’s worth a try. If there are people in your life that often bring you down then you need to tell them! Tell them that their comments are unhelpful and makes you feel crap. Tell them how they can support you instead. For instance, I asked my family to not ask me “Did you get any new clients, yet?” because in the beginning of my business that was just too painful and reminded me that ‘no, I have no clients!’ Instead I asked them to ask ‘What are you working on at the moment?” or a more general “How is it going?” – It didn’t always work, but by telling them how their comments impacted me, they became a bit more mindful about what they said and it opened up for some new conversations.
Let it go, turn away (No need to ‘slam the door’!)
Sometimes you just need to let it go. This works well with people who aren’t that close to you and where you don’t really want to start a big conversation telling them how you feel. Distant family, peripheral friends. Just nod and smile and let it go. They mean well, and you don’t need to take it in. Send them forgiveness and let it go.
Let them go…
You might have people in your life that are just too much and that are impacting you in such a negative way that it is simply time to let them go. I know this might seem harsh, and might feel impossible if it’s family or old friends but ask yourself what’s the most important thing; a toxic relationship that you hold on to out of guilt or, your business and the abundant, purposeful life that you are building for yourself? If you don’t want to fully let them go, maybe start by reducing the time you spend with them.
Guard your own castle.
More than anything, it is really important that you take responsibility for your own mindset, well-being and self-care. Yes, the comments can hurt so badly and throw you off-course, but you have got to be stronger than that! This is simply a part of life and though it can suck, it doesn’t have to stop you in your tracks. Practise coming back to yourself, trusting yourself and your own guidance and let the others think what they think. It’s not their life, it’s not their business – it is YOUR business!
Practice forgiveness, compassion and laugh off the really crazy ones. If they come from people who are close to you and who’s support you would really like to have – then start that conversation with them. Understand that it can be hard for them to see you stress out and doubt yourself, when those times hit, and that they want to help you but might not know how. Talk to them about how they can best support you and be prepared that they might still slip into old habits once in a while. It’s a process for you both, so you might need to talk about it several times as you level-up and things change.
Apart from learning to trust yourself more, you can also surround yourself with likeminded people who DO get you and are on similar journeys. Masterminds and groups with other female entrepreneurs can be vital to get the support and connection that you need in your business venture.
I am launching my own membership site in September – click here for more details and to register your interest.
If you want support in your business now then book a free 60 minutes intro session here – it’s the last week I am offering these, so make sure you claim yours.