This year has been one big soul searching journey for me. I have changed so much! And so many things have changed.
And it’s hard! Changing things can be so hard, especially as I have been changing many things many times. And for each time, I have felt certain people in my life think ‘oh here she goes again – changing things AGAIN 🙄’ and I have felt that way myself too.
But the thing is, I haven’t been changing things to something completely different! I haven’t gone from wanting to be a gardener to wanting to be an astronaut, for instance (I haven’t actually ever wanted to be any of those things, I am just trying to prove a point.).
I feel now, that I think I can see it more clearly, that each change and adjustment has led me closer to what I actually want to do. And now, I feel…that I’ve figured it out. Though I have said that many times before this year so who knows??
This time feels different though…I actually feel like I’ve been called to serve. Not in a military sense! But I feel like I have been called forward to serve in a different way. I have always wanted to work for myself, and I have always wanted to help others. Hence I became a Life Coach and this year I quit my full-time job and started working for myself for the second time (the first time was a few years ago, where I wasn’t really ready for it, though it was still a good experience).
So far so good however, there are many types of ‘life coaches’ and lots of people you can help in many different ways. And my latest soul searching has been trying to decide what my main message is. Who am I meant to serve and how? And that’s where I have felt the calling recently… I feel I have been called to work on a much deeper level than I have done before. I have done a lot of ‘result-oriented’ coaching around goal setting and mindset, which are all very good and important! However, I felt I wanted to go deeper. And so I realised that working with other female entrepreneurs might be a great idea, because many of the women I know, who work for themselves, are also on these soul searching personal development journeys, and maybe I could help them on a ‘deeper’ level.
So I started writing that out and looking for words and phrases that I felt captured my message and, I have been working with a business coach recently too, to help with get clear on all this, but I still felt like I was not quite there yet. Something didn’t feel right. I work very intuitively, when I ‘allow’ myself to do so. Which means that I often check in with my energy on projects and things I am working on. How does the work feel energetically? I have been feeling so much ‘heavy’ energy lately, I have been feeling so tired and de-motivated which frankly scared the shit out of me because here I was having quit my full-time job and now not feeling motivated to do any work!! Argh! 😱
However, one morning I couldn’t sleep (I’m not a morning person at all!) and I was mid-dream and half-awake when I saw myself at a conference for other female entrepreneurs. I was due to talk on stage in 10 minutes around something with goal setting – I had misspelled the details on the large poster, which was very embarrassing! But 10 minutes before I realised that that wasn’t what I was meant to talk about at all!! I was meant to talk about using your intuition in order to create the life and business that you want! So I re-wrote my entire speech and went on stage and delivered an amazing, spot on, inter-active, moving speech about intuition! When I awoke fully I felt it – I knew that I had been called! I am meant to inspire and empower women to live soulful, creative, passionate lives driven by their intuition!
I felt the energy change completely to being light and bright and super-duper excited! But over the next few days it hit me; How am I going to do this?? Every time I was working with my business coach I felt pulled in another direction, and when I read about other female entrepreneurs I started doubting myself and my ways because the things I was writing and thinking didn’t quite fit in with “good business” pratice and how things are “supposed to be done”!
But then I realised that if I am to truly inspire and empower others to use and trust their intuition, I need to take the first step myself.
So, I let my business coach go. I decided not to read anymore of the ‘how to’ blog posts and I decided to go back to what I know and what I believe in; writing. I have always been writing. Journaling, writing short stories, started on book ideas, poems, song lyrics – I have always been wrting in some shape or form. That is where I feel most like myself and where I feel mostly connected to my intuition.
So here I am; I know that I have been called to serve women on a deep transformational level, but I haven’t quite figured out the details yet. I know that I need to do something around writing, so I am starting this daily blog to get myself started. And I have decided to simply trust my intuition and the Universe in showing me the way forward. It feels sooo right, and yet, also slightly scary!
My mantra at the moment is I am Good Enough – because that is what I need to believe in right now to keep going. That is what I need to believe in order to continue trusting myself, my intuition and the Universe.
If you feel drawn to working more with your intution too, join me on this journey!
I have created a free Facebook group where I want to create a supportive community of like-minded women. Come join us! 😊💕